


Cry For Help

by OptimisticallyCynical



Series: Breaking The Hawk [36]
Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: Daniel catches up with him, Hawk leaves to go for a joyride, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, They talk, Things get weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29627283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OptimisticallyCynical/pseuds/OptimisticallyCynical
Summary: With nothing to do since everyone else is out training, Hawk decides to go for a joyride. He's interrupted from really enjoying himself when his own thoughts become a little to troubling.
Relationships: Demetri/Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz
Series: Breaking The Hawk [36]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2103372
Comments: 21
Kudos: 57





	Cry For Help

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this one was... written, which is about all I can say about it. Hope you guys enjoy it. At the very least Hawk's getting the help he needs now so, yay.

Hawk watched from the house as the mixture of students went through their warm-ups.

A part of him wished that he could be down there with them, wanting for nothing more than to get back into training after what felt like ages away from it. But he knew if he tried he’d no doubt fall into the same panic he had the day before. That had been embarrassing to go through the first time. He didn’t want to give them a second show.

The moment that the other students had started to pile in he’d slipped a quick kiss to Demetri and headed into the house. He hadn’t bothered tossing a glance at any of the new arrivals, not wanting to see the looks on their faces as they would no doubt watch him, judging him as some sort of mental case.

He still wasn’t sure what had happened yesterday. In the moment he’d really thought that he’d been attack by the cobras again. He was so sure that they had come back to finish the job, or that he had some how skipped back in time to the night when they’d gotten him.

Scowling at the reminder of his weakness, Hawk tore his eyes away from the ones outside in the yard. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do but he knew he couldn’t be here any longer.

As he made his way to the front he glanced around the corners of the house, checking for any LaRussos that could be lurking around any corner.

Sure he knew where Sam and her father were, he’d seen them outside just seconds ago, but that didn’t mean that he was any more comfortable around the guy’s wife or that little gremlin child of his either.

Hawk knew he wasn’t going to like him the moment they met and the kid asked what had happened to his face.

Pushing the embarrassing memory to the back he quickly located his shoes, slipping them on his feet.

Demetri had told him that training normally went on for about two hours on the weekends, which meant that he had at least one and a half hours to find something to do before they would be finished and could hang out again.

As he snatched his helmet off of the floor he wondered if Miguel would like to hangout with them too.

It wasn’t like he didn’t notice the side ways looks that Miguel shot at Robby when he thought no one was looking, or that he didn’t recognize the stiffness in Robby’s form whenever they were near each other, but Miguel was a- had been, a really good friend of his at one point. His best friend in fact, and he missed hanging out with the original Cobra. But he had a lot to apologize to Miguel for, and he wasn’t sure if he’d want to hangout with them if Robby was going to be there as well.

Shaking the thoughts from his head since there was nothing he could do about it right now anyways, he opened the door and took a step outside.

At least the weather was nice.

Looking up at the blue sky he could feel some of his tension from before melting away.

The warmth of it caressing his face brought the memory of his mom’s voice back to the forefront of his mind, and he found himself smiling as he recalled their conversation from just an hour or so beforehand.

Although it hadn’t been long, he’d been so relived to hear that she was okay, that she hadn’t been hurt while he was gone that it had nearly sent him to tears. The only reason he’d forced himself to stay as calm as he had listening to her voice was because Demetri was with him. He cried to much around his boyfriend as it was, he showed way to much weakness around him. There was no way he wanted Demetri to start thinking that he was some kind of pathetic weakling that needed to be protected and comforted twenty-four seven, or at all really.

He was already pushing his luck with how fucked up he was. There was no way he wanted to chase Demetri away due to all his own stupid issues.

Slipping the helmet over his head, he threw his leg over the seat, being careful of his stitches as he pulled his keys from his pocket. Kicking the stand up he started the engine, wasting no time before taking off down the long ass driveway.

He wasn’t really sure where he was going, but he knew that he needed to go somewhere.

Sitting around, alone in the LaRusso household felt... off. Like he was sneaking around enemy territory and just waiting to have a knife stabbed into his back. He flinched when he recalled the knife shredding across the flesh of his back, instantly regretting his comparison.

Either way, without Robby or Demetri there to distract him from the fact that he was now living with Princess and her Mystic Balance talking father, it felt suffocating and put him in a constant state of stress.

It was a nice house, but there was no way it felt like home.

He missed the hotel and hanging out with Robby eating pizza and working on homework and arguing over terrible TV shows.

Revving the engine and picking up speed he flew out of the driveway and onto the main road, narrowly missing an oncoming car that blared their horn at him.

A laugh pulling from his throat as he flipped them off, feeling the familiar pump of adrenaline numbing all of the constant swirling emotions he didn’t want to deal with.

Flying down the street now and leaving the car in the dust, Hawk could feel a smile curling at his lips, the tension he hadn’t realized wrapped around his chest releasing as he took a sharp corner. His bike was leaning so far over that he could have bent his arm out and grazed his fingers over the surface.

Straightening back up he took in a deep breath, allowing himself to finally relax.

He had no idea what his plan was, and for a moment he couldn’t help the tempting thought of driving towards the sun until his tank went dry. Than he thought of how upset Robby and Demetri would be if he went through with it and instantly dropped the idea.

But he found that if he didn’t end up stopping somewhere and just continued to drive around pointlessly for the next hour or so he wasn’t going to complain.

There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, which meant he didn’t have to worry about rain, and no where that he had to be.

Going way over the speed limit now he continued to zip down the barren road, spotting the main road with mild interest.

He supposed if he wanted to keep things interesting, he could always test how good he was at weaving in and out of traffic.

The very thought of the life threatening game had his heart pounding with excitement, his eyes glued to the countless cars zooming beside him. All it would take was one small slip up and he would be road kill.

A smile came to his lips, a laugh pulled from his throat. He was already getting ready to leave the side road he was on, ready to take the next turn at the fastest speed he could manage, wondering the odds of him being able to do so without tipping or crashing when he suddenly froze.

What was he doing?

Even though it was only a moment he felt his control slipping, a startled yelp yanking up from his chest as he fought against the vehicle, struggling to keep it up right at the speed he was going.

Fuck. How fast was he going?

Heart pounding for a whole new reason now, Hawk took the first available turn off of the road, pulling into a small scenic side stop that over looked the ocean.

He couldn’t rip his helmet off quick enough, not noticing how hard he was panting until he was gulping down the fresh lungfuls of air.

Ripping the keys out he clutched them hard in his hands, squeezing them until he could feel the bite of the keys slicing into his skin.

The second he realized what he was doing he dropped them.

What the fuck was he doing?

Fuck. Fuck. Shit.

Was he trying to get himself killed?

He hadn’t thought he was. He thought that he was just out having fun. That’s all he wanted to do. To take a step away from everything and just breath for a little bit. To play with fate and see what would happen.

But what was his idea of fun? Going ridiculous speeds and seeing how much he could fuck with it before he turned into road meat? Cutting in front of cars, weaving in and out of traffic like he was playing some type of Frogger game with objects that could weight tons and could easily flatten him in seconds?

God dammit.

He really was just as fucked up as people kept telling him he was.

He thought that with everyone pointing it out, with him knowing about it, it wouldn’t be an issue anymore. He’d figured he’d fixed the problem, at least slightly, but if that was true than why hadn’t it occurred to him just what he was trying to do? Why didn’t he realize sooner that he wasn’t interested in the adrenaline rush, but in the thought that at any moment he could die?

Fuck.

Dropping his head to rest against his arms he gripped the handle bars until he could feel his bones throb. And than instantly forced them to relax when he realized he was looking to distract himself with the pain.

Jesus Christ. What was wrong with him?

Biting down on his bottom lip he quickly stopped that too, forcing himself to sit back up and stare out over the ocean.

He could feel his lungs quivering for air, forcing his hands to remained relaxed as he dropped them to rest on his thighs.

Why was he having such a hard time with not hurting himself? When had it become such a crutch that it was a subconscious habit? Why did he have to actively think of every little movement he was making to make sure that he wasn’t doing something that would distract him by using his own pain?

Taking in a shaky breath his mind slipped over to Demetri, to how disappointed he would no doubt be if he realized how quickly Hawk had slipped back into his worst habits even after promising him that he would try to do better.

What if he couldn’t get better though? What if this was the best that he could do? What if he would never stop thinking about it and it turned into some sort of constant battle that he’d always be on the verge of losing? Would it really be fair for him to force Demetri to have to hang around for that? Would he even want to? Would it be better if he just cut the cord now? Allowed Demetri to move on and leave him?

Demetri had said that he wasn’t broken, said that he was just afraid and hurt, that he could get better and that there was help out there if he was willing to take it, but why did it feel like at the end of the day it wouldn’t matter? What if this was it? What if this was the best he could do?

Hawk ripped his hands away from each other the second he realized that he had been picking at the wounds of his knuckles and digging his nails into the cuts to make it worse.

Pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes he gritted his teeth as he berated himself for being so weak.

Demetri deserved better. He deserved someone who was a lot stronger than Hawk.

Glancing at the blinding light of the ocean, Hawk found his tongue darting out to wet his suddenly dry lips.

Would it be easier for everyone if he just... disappeared? He didn’t seem to be able to do anything other than screw up whatever they had going in their lives. He wasn’t any good for Demetri. Would they be able to move on just fine- if not better- without him there to add to all of their problems?

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

What was he thinking? This was what everyone hated right? Or what they were worried about? Why couldn’t he just shut it off?

Hissing to himself in frustration Hawk clawed at the air next to his sides. His chest was burning with the want to do... something. To hurt, to be hurt, to do anything with all of the frustration that was building.

Why was it that when his thoughts strayed to the daring acts that could very well kill him, it felt freeing and enjoyable? Like a dare he couldn’t wait to try out or a game with fate that he couldn’t resist trying to cheat his way out of?

But than when it came to trying to clear his head and keep himself from causing any harm to his own person, suddenly everything became a lot harder to deal with? A lot less enjoyable to even think about?

He wanted to find someone to pick a fight with. He wanted to walk on the tightrope of danger and see if he could make it to the other end. He wanted to rage against anyone and everyone and he didn't’ even know why. He had no idea where all of this sudden anger was coming from, or even what he was supposed to do with it if he wasn’t allowed to rely on any of his old methods.

So he slouched in his seat, dropping his chin on the cross of his arms as he stared out over the ocean again.

The anger was tempting, familiar, but it wasn’t something that he could trust.

The agony that weighted on his lungs and made it hard to breath was frustrating, it was weak, so he shoved it aside.

His refused to so much as acknowledge the fear that stiffened in his bones, refused to so much as give it a passing thought.

So he just sat there and waited.

Waited until he didn’t feel anything. Waited until the swirling vortex of emotions he no longer knew what to do with were choked off leaving nothing more than a heavy form of numbness to sink to the bottom of his ribs.

Maybe this would work. Maybe if he could just shut everything down, if he could block it all out until it passed, than everything would be okay. Maybe that was the way he would be able to make it through this, to get passed it. He just had to feel nothing.

“Hawk!”

He didn’t so much as flinch at the call of his name, didn’t so much as turn his head when he heard a car door slam.

“You’re not supposed to leave the house without at least two people with you.” Daniel scolded, the sound of the gravel underneath his feet crunching louder with every step that brought him closer.

Hawk continued to keep his eyes on the horizon, looking at the way that the ocean stretched out so far it faded into nothingness.

“Hey.” Daniel sounded irritated as he finally stopped beside him, his hands on his hips as he stared down at him. “Are you listening?”

Yup.

Hawk didn’t bother tearing his eyes away from the sight before him though.

“Seriously Hawk, you can’t just go running off. It’s dangerous. You of all people should know that.” The older man huffed. “It’s a good thing that Demetri heard your motorcycle and alerted me that you’d left. What were you going to do if you ran into Cobra Kai on your own? Where were you even going?” He questioned, staring around the area before turning back to the boy he was scolding. “Am I going to have to place a tracking device on you or something?” Daniel continued to rave.

Hawk just sat there and listened.

When he still gave no reply, Daniel’s brows furrowed together, “Hawk?”

He wished he could find the energy to look up at him, even if he could just twitch a finger to show that he was listening. But his whole body felt frozen, felt like every inch was weighted down. He felt like that time he’d gone to the beach and been buried in the sand. A thousand tiny pieces scratching against his skin, making him want to crawl out of his own flesh, but being unable to move.

“Hey,” Daniel was suddenly crouching down beside him, his hand coming up to rest on his shoulder.

Normally Hawk would have drawn back, would have felt the discomfort crawling at his insides at being touched by someone he didn’t really know. At being touched at all.

But instead he remained empty, completely hollowed out.

“Hawk? Did you take anything? Do I need to bring you to the hospital?”

Had he taken something? He couldn’t remember. He was pretty sure the answer was no though. Where would he even get anything from?

The thought of how he’d felt on the morphine popped up, of how floaty and funny everything had been, at how happy he’d felt. There had been a different type of numbness than. He hadn’t felt angry, hadn’t felt like trying to see how far he could push things. He’d just been loopy and numb and mindlessly happy.

Would Mr LaRusso get him more of that if he asked? Would it be batter for him to just be on that constantly?

He didn’t flinch when the hand moved from his shoulder to wrap around his wrist, feeling for his heartbeat before his attention turned to his eyes. Hawk allowed him to tilt his head this way and that once the hand had made its way to his face, still gazing forward as Daniel tried to search his eyes for any sign of drugs.

“Are you okay? How are you feeling?”

“Nothing.”

Hawk wasn’t sure why he said it, but he couldn’t take it back now, and he didn’t care.

“Nothing?” The confusion in Daniel’s voice was so apparent that Hawk found himself finally looking over at the man. “Can you explain that to me?”

Glancing back at the ocean, Hawk took in a deep breath, giving a lifeless shrug of his shoulders.

“Seems safer.”

Because apparently he was to pathetic to be able to control his emotions properly.

“Safer?” Again Daniel echoed his words, his brows furrowing closer together. “Why would nothing be safer?”

He wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He knew the answer. If he didn’t feel anything than he couldn’t do anything stupid.

But how could he say that without Mr LaRusso thinking even less of him than he already did?

Again Hawk lifted his shoulders in a shrug, his hands coming up to join him as he shook his head.

The questions weren’t helping. If anything, they were making everything worse. They burned the numbness away, leaving a tight feeling in his lungs as he tried to grab it back, to claw at the last shreds of the mask to keep the soul crushing weight of anything else from smothering him.

“I just- I don’t want to- to hurt Demetri.” He forced out, bring his hand to his face to press against his eyes hard enough to paint the backs of the lids in red.

“How would you hurt Demetri?”

The question was so simple, Hawk felt his chest shattering as he dropped his head to the handles of his bike.

“I told him I’d get better.” He sob clutching the back of his neck with his hand, trying to rearrange his scattered emotions. “I promised I would. But the only thing that- that makes me happy is thinking about things that could hurt me or kill me and I know he’d be- he’d be so disappointed.”

And Demetri would be.

He wanted Hawk to get better, and Hawk really had made a promise that he would try, that he would agree to allowing Mr LaRusso to help him, that he would do what he had to in order to bring things back to normal. But that felt impossible right now.

And he had no idea how to change it.

He’d had a hard enough time understanding his emotions when he’d just been Eli. Being Hawk he could understand them to a point but he had no idea how to control them.

It was weird to feel so... powerless against himself. Put him up against anyone and more often than not he would come up the winner. Force him to go up against himself and he was guaranteed to lose.

But it was a battle that he couldn’t lose, because if he did, he wasn’t going to be able to come back from it.

Or would it be better for him to lose in the long run? He hurt everyone that he came in contact with. Demetri, Miguel, Robby, Sam, Bert, Moon, god the list was endless. He’d even turned against the adults in his life, his father- although honestly that guy deserved it-, he betrayed Mr Lawrence to his old Sensei, he’d fucking bitten Mr LaRusso after burning down his dojo. There wasn’t anyone that he knew or could think back on that he hadn’t fucked over or hurt in some sort of colossal way.

And yet, Demetri wanted him around still. He just couldn’t wrap his head around why.

There was a hand at his shoulder again, but he didn’t look up from where his head was bent, his nails digging into the meat of his arms as he fought to keep the tears from falling.

Letting out a sharp breath of air that sounded more like a hiss as it passed by his teeth, Hawk forced himself to sit back up. Rubbing his hands over his face, he gave a hard sniffle before forcing himself to turn to the man, even if he couldn’t bring himself to look up into his eyes.

“I’m sorry Mr LaRusso.” He muttered, his voice low to keep it from cracking. “I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to leave without someone.” Although he supposed that he should have been smart enough to figure that out without having to be told. Guess it could just join the mounting evidence for how thick headed he was.

When the man’s forehead creased in confusion over the sudden change of topic and attitude, Hawk didn’t say anything to help him find his footing in the new conversation. He didn’t want to talk about what he’d just admitted to. Didn’t want to add anything else to the ‘Reasons Hawk’s so Fucked Up’ list that he was sure had to have an endless amount of jot notes already filling it. The man had more to worry about than some kid who he’d just randomly taken into his home after finding out that he was failing at this thing called life. If there was anyone Daniel should be spending his time on, it should have been Robby.

He knew that Robby tried to hide it, but it was obvious that the Miyagi Do teacher meant a lot to him. That he was no doubt the first adult he found he could depend on, and than Daniel had fucked it up by abandoning him the second that he was at his lowest.

He shouldn’t have been taking away the attention that Robby needed from his second father figure.

“Can we-,”

“Have you and Robby spoken yet?” Hawk asked, willing the numbness back into his soul, trying to avoid his own problems until he could smother them. “He really misses you.” Because Robby did. Hawk wasn’t stupid, or blind. “You should apologize to him.”

“Robby? Apologize? Hawk I don’t think that you understand-,”

“Where were you?” The question had been burning at the front of his mind ever since Robby had told him that the guy had never so much as showed his face once he’d been brought to juvi. Where had Daniel been the whole time Robby had been locked up?

But Daniel didn’t seem to understand his question, a slight amount of frustration layering his features as he placed a hand on the handles of Hawk’s bike.

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but Hawk-,”

“You told him you’d visit.” Hawk pointed out, the man’s eyes going wide as what he was talking about hit him. “You got him turned in, and than you left him there. No one came to visit him. Do you know how alone he was? How afraid?”

Because Hawk did. He’d heard enough of Robby tossing and turning in his sleep. He’d spent enough nights pretending that he was sleeping when Robby jerked away, breathing hard and clutching at his chest. He knew unbridled fear when he saw it, he didn’t have to be told.

“Why would you do that?”

“I-I,” If he was going to say anything about Hawk’s earlier statement, it was gone now as he tried to find a way to defend himself. “My company was in trouble.” Daniel eventually got out. “I had to go to Japan to talk to the talk to the manufactious and keep us from going under.”

“And you were doing that the whole time Robby was locked away?” Hawk muttered, arching a brow at the man.

Thick brows narrowed over dark eyes, any worry the man had slipping away now that the spotlight was on him. “Hawk please,” he grumbled, “this is between me and Robby. I don’t think-.”

“No, you didn’t did you?” Hawk interrupted. “That’s why Robby’s mad at you.”

The man’s face was fuming now, and Hawk couldn’t help but continue pushing. “You’re supposed to be his teacher,” his voice was low, a disapproving smirk curling at his lips as he stared up at the man, “but I guess you can’t even do that right.”

“Okay, listen-!” Hawk flinched back when Daniel lifted his hand from the bars.

His reaction made the man freeze.

“Shit.” Hearing the Miyagi sensei curse was always a little jarring, but it wasn’t something Hawk was focusing on as he pressed his shaking hands firmly against his thighs.

Had he just-? Was he trying to antagonize Mr LaRusso into hitting him? For fucks sake. Why couldn’t he just not try and start shit for two seconds?

Neither of them spoke, each going over the last few minutes of their conversation.

Eventually the older man sighed, running his hand through his hair as he looked out over the water.

“I’m sorry.” Hawk muttered again.

He knew that Daniel was just trying to help him, and that he wasn’t making it easy.

“I... you should talk to Robby.” Because none of what he had said there was a lie. “But I went overboard.” He pressed his hands down harder when he realized that they were inching closer to one another with the intent to dig his nails in. “If it would be easier for you, I could just go.”

Again his mind circled back to how much better everyone would be without him dragging them behind.

“You can just say that I slipped away.”

“What about Demetri?” Hawk bit down on his tongue to keep himself from whimpering. “You made him a promise didn’t you?”

Being reminded that he did in fact promise Demetri he would try, Hawk sunk back into his shoulders.

He winced when a hand landed on his shoulder, but allowed the contact, his arms feeling to tired to bat it away.

“You can’t give up fighting. Not yet.” Deep down, he knew that Daniel was right. He still had to protect Demetri after all and figure out a way to take the Cobras out of the picture, figure out a way to keep everyone safe.

Taking in a deep breath Hawk turned his attention back to the ocean.

He supposed he could give up fighting after he made sure that everyone would be okay when he eventually lost.

“Where are your keys?”

The question had Hawk looking around his feet, bending over and scooping up the keys to his motorcycle. Once he was upright again, Daniel didn’t waste any time in taking them from him, moving out of his space as he nodded towards his car.

“Come on, I want to take you somewhere.”

Arching a brow at him, Hawk didn’t move. “Don’t you have a class you need to get back to?” He muttered. “I’m not going to ram my bike into the railing and go over the edge if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Well I am now.” Daniel said, concern pulling at the corners of his eyes. “Johnny’s got the class thing handled. Come on.”

Seeing that he wasn’t going to be able to get out of it, Hawk begrudgingly got off his bike, slipping his hands into his pockets as he followed him back to his car.

They took their seats in silence. Hawk buckled himself up, wondering if his bike was going to be okay there for however long they would be gone for before realizing that he really didn’t care.

It might be better for him if someone took it.

Less tempting to drive into traffic that way or turn himself into a smear on the road.

“Okay,” Daniel muttered with a sigh as he backed the car up and started to head back to the side road, “we’re going to talk to an old client of mine. He owes me a favour.”

“Planing on murdering me?” Hawk chuckled, the sound lifeless.

“No, he’s a psychologist.”

It took a second for the words to really land, but once they did, Hawk found himself going stiff in his seat.

His hand snapped out, gripping at the door handle and trying to pry it open, his nails clawing at the lock only for it to remain firmly closed.

“Child lock is on.”

Of course it fucking was.

“I don’t need to see some brain quack.” Hawk hissed, abandoning his attempt at trying to get the door to open as they drove away, his hands reaching for his seat belt. Daniel’s hand was quick to clamp over both of his, keeping him from undoing the safety device. “Let go.”

“What about your promise?”

“I promised I would let **you** help me.” Hawk hissed, trying to yank his hands free, snarling when he couldn’t. “I don’t need some smug asshole fucking around in my head.”

He couldn’t do that again.

It was bad enough when someone like Demetri did it, bad enough when Hawk had handed over that power so that he **could** do it. There was no way he wanted a complete stranger to poke around in his mind, to try and- and fix him or whatever it was that they would say so that he would let his guard down around them.

Because what if they saw through everything? What if they realized how fucked up he was? That there wasn’t a way for him to get better and that he was a hopeless cause? What if they would turn around and tell him that he was just as pathetic as his father thought? What if they pointed out that he was nothing more than an order following crybaby that couldn’t handle life on his own? What if they decided that the best place for him to be was stuck in some padded cell trapped in a straitjacket or so heavily dosed that he became nothing more than a drooling mess?

“L-look,” He fell over his words in his rush to get them out, a deep panic settling into his bones as he went over every way it could go wrong. At every way that he could leave the few that still held out hope for him to realize that he was a lost cause. “I’ll do whatever you want,” Hawk pleaded. “You want me to wax every car at your house and work? It’s done? Want me to meditate for six hours a day? Okay fine. Go through those karate dances? I’ll do it till I pass out.” Daniel was shifting his eyes back and forth between Hawk and the road, his lips pulling to the side as Hawk begged to him. “Just don’t- don’t do this.”

“It’s not a punishment Hawk.” His assurance was soft, but Hawk didn’t buy it. “It’s to help you get better.”

Knowing that there was no way he was getting out of it now as they pulled onto the main road, Hawk brought his knees up to his chest, his hands moving up to tightly wrap around them the second that Daniel let him go. He hid the lower half of his face behind his arms as he kept his eyes firmly glued to the passing scenery, trying in vein to keep his heart from beating fast enough to send him into cardiac arrest.

Trying to bring any form of small comfort to himself that he could, he tried to think back to what he’d promised Demetri.

He’d promised that he’d let Daniel help him out. That he would do what the man said if he thought it meant he would get better.

If Daniel thought that talking to a psychologist would help than technically he had to at least give it a shot for Demetri’s sake.

Still, he couldn’t stop the way his hands shook at the thought of allowing a complete stranger to worm their way into his head.

It never worked out well for him when people did that. He didn’t want to risk allowing it to happen again.

As pathetic as it was, he buried his face into his arms when he felt a hand resting on his shoulder, refusing to look over at the other when he gave a small pat.

“Don’t worry, this is going to help you.”

How many times had he heard that?

Hawk didn’t say anything, just stayed curled up as tight as he possibly could and prayed that whoever Daniel’s friend was, he wasn’t anything like the ones Jordan had sent him to when he was younger.


End file.
